Attack of the Ninja Kittens! Read online

  For Tara

  (a wonderful springer spaniel)

  1 The Gentle Giant

  2 A Sitting Duck

  3 Planet Puss

  4 Spiky Ninja Kittens

  5 Diamond Dogs

  6 Family and Furry Friends

  The Gentle Giant

  In the Pooch Pound dogs’ home, a family were crouching at the bars of the far kennel, gently calling to a large white mound with big black patches. The Great Dane was lying on a blanket with his back to the visitors and, like every other day they had come to meet him, the dog wouldn’t budge.

  The disappointed family left with the warden, hurrying past three noisy kennels on their way to the door. Butch howled and growled and frothed like a fountain, Poppy bounded in circles snapping at her tail, while Rocket barked as loud as he could. But when the door closed behind the visitors, the room fell silent and the three dogs sniffed the air.

  asked Butch, wiping the drool from his mouth.

  ‘No, I don’t think so,’ said Poppy, poking her nose through the bars to take another sniff.

  ‘A goat?’ laughed Butch. ‘Humans don’t keep goats as pets.’

  ‘They could,’ Poppy said uncertainly.

  Butch and Poppy looked at Rocket, who had the sharpest nose and was usually the first to list all of the pets the visitors kept at home. Other dogs and cats were easy to identify, but this family smelt of something much more unusual.

  said Rocket. The brown mutt twitched his shiny black nose and frowned in concentration.

  ‘Not as big as me,’ said a deep voice from the far kennel.

  The three dogs turned to Duke, the shy Great Dane.

  The gentle giant had arrived at the Pooch Pound a week ago when his family decided he was too large to manage. Duke had been returned to the Pooch Pound many times before for the same reason and this had made him very conscious of his size.

  ‘Whatever pets the family have, they obviously want to give you a home too,’ said Poppy, gazing up as Duke heaved himself to his full height. ‘They’ve come to see you every day this week – maybe you should give them a chance.’

  ‘But I’ll bump into their furniture and break things without meaning to,’ Duke sighed, lowering his head. ‘I don’t want them to be cross with me like all the other families, so I’m staying here where I won’t be any trouble.’

  slobbered Butch.

  Rocket and Poppy frowned at their kennel mate.

  ‘I can smell doughnuts,’ Butch added, dribbling on the floor. ‘Which means the night warden has arrived, so no one else will be in here until morning rounds!’

  Rocket tilted his head and twitched his ear, then he nodded to Butch and Poppy that it was time to leave. The three dogs quickly bunched up their blankets, cleared away chew toys and took up positions in the middle of their kennels, directly beneath the light. Duke watched through the bars, knowing that the Spacemutts would soon be off on another intergalactic adventure.

  ‘Are you sure you won’t come with us?’ asked Poppy, aware that the Great Dane had declined their offer every other night and probably wouldn’t change his mind.

  ‘There’s lots of space in space,’ added Butch.

  Duke smiled, but slowly shook his head. He wished he were brave enough to join his friends – to travel through the galaxy defending the Earth against feline foes. But he felt much too big and clumsy and was sure he would only get in their way.

  Rocket swiped his collar with a paw, which made the chrome spikes light up round his neck. ‘This is Rocket calling the Dogstar,’ he said. ‘Come in, Dogstar.’

  ‘Hello, Captain,’ said the female voice of WOOF, the spaceship’s onboard computer. ‘Everything is prepped for boarding. Can I confirm only three teleports again this evening?’

  Rocket looked over at the fourth kennel where the Great Dane stretched his hind legs and gave a long, low groan. The captain knew big dogs needed lots of exercise and wondered if an adventure with the Spacemutts could also give Duke the confidence he needed to trust a new family.

  ‘Captain?’ WOOF repeated, waiting for the command.

  ‘Make that four teleports,’ whispered Rocket. ‘Over and out.’

  Moments later the domed lights began to flicker in the kennels and four bright beams shot down from the ceiling. Spotting the extra teleport, Poppy and Butch smiled at Rocket – while Duke paused mid-stretch and gazed up with a gulp.

  ‘WHOOOOHH . . .’ he protested, and the four dogs sparkled in the light as they vanished within the transport beams, leaving all of the kennels empty.

  At the edge of the galaxy in the Catnip Nebula, Lady Fluffkins sat on the bridge of her clockwork Mouseship and hissed at planet Earth through her intergalactic telescope.

  The white Persian was devising a new fiendish plot to invade the blue planet and thereby complete her empire, but a rattling-chattering sound had disturbed her wicked thoughts, making her glance around irritably.

  she demanded, green eyes glaring at her hairless servant, Baldy. He was cowering next to Lady Fluffkins’ throne and shaking more than usual.

  ‘Y-y-yes, m-m-mistress,’ he stammered, bones rattling and teeth chattering.

  ‘Really?’ sniffed the empress. ‘I hadn’t noticed.’

  ‘That’s because you are wrapped in the most b-b-beautiful fluffy fur,’ snivelled the servant, aware that Lady Fluffkins’ vanity ranked much higher than his own well-being. ‘While I am . . .’

  ‘A hairless freak?’ purred the Persian. ‘Yes, you are. And your jangling carcass is disturbing my thoughts. I suggest you either learn how to grow fur or fix the heating, before I toss you out of the airlock!’

  Baldy quickly scuttled away, rubbing his stringy tail to warm it as he checked the control panels of the clockwork Mouseship. Power levels were critically low across all systems, so he peered through the side portal to find that the giant key had stopped turning.

  ‘The clockwork k-k-key has wound down, m-m-mistress,’ he shivered.

  ‘Then wind it up again, you bald buffoon!’ growled Lady Fluffkins, lazily stroking her thick white coat. ‘Or are you suggesting that I go out there and get ice crystals on my delicious downy fur?’

  A Sitting Duck

  The Dogstar orbited planet Earth like a great metal tank. Inside the spaceship, four teleport beams appeared upon the deck, followed by four sparkling dogs. As the beams dropped away, the three regular Spacemutts and the reluctant new recruit were greeted by an alert siren!

  Poppy immediately leapt to the cockpit and switched the Dogstar controls from autopilot to manual, while Butch dashed away to inspect the mechanics at the rear of the ship. Rocket bounded over to the central hub to silence the alarm and then flicked on the giant screen.

  ‘What have you got for us, WOOF?’ he asked.

  WOOF was short for World Orbiting Observation Facility. The ship’s computer constantly scanned the galaxy for unusual activity, analysing data from spy-bone satellites and deep-space telescopes.

  ‘I’ve just picked up an audio pulse in the Catnip Nebula, Captain,’ said WOOF, displaying a galaxy map that marked the exact location and feeding the sound through the ship’s speakers. ‘Its irregular thumping indicates the presence of a life form!’

  ‘Can you get a visual?’ asked Rocket, frowning at the strange sound.

  ‘Negative, Captain,’ said WOOF, zooming in on the map and switching the view to include local planets. ‘And the object is giving off no heat for thermal-imaging.’

  said Rocket, twitching his ears.

  said Butch, and dribbled on the floor.

  ‘Or she could be building something,’ Poppy said gravely.

  Studying the image on the screen, the captain of the Spac
emutts scratched his ear with a rear paw as he considered their options. Lady Fluffkins’ distant realm was a dangerous place for dogs, but if the evil empress was building something that threatened planet Earth, they definitely needed to know about it.

  ‘Butch, prep the ship for a wormhole jump to the Catnip Nebula,’ said Rocket, rolling out a star map that showed local portals for deep-space travel. ‘Poppy, we’re going on a scouting mission.’

  ‘Yes, Captain,’ said Butch and Poppy together, and set to work.

  ‘Duke, you can . . . ’ Rocket glanced up at the empty transportation deck and then scanned the ship to find the Great Dane slumped in a corner. ‘Er, you can sit this one out if you like.’

  ‘Yes, Captain,’ groaned Duke, certain that his size was a hazard on a spaceship filled with so much technical equipment. So he decided to keep his head down and stay out of the way.

  When Butch had completed the engine preparations, Rocket sent coordinates to Poppy, who steered the Dogstar through a bright swirling portal located behind Earth’s moon.

  ‘WOOOO HOOOO!’ cheered the Spacemutts as they shot through a tunnel of rainbow light that looped and curved wildly, spiralling through the galaxy. The dogs howled with joy at the incredible speed, noses forward and ears flapping on the side of their heads.

  The wormhole jump was a rollercoaster ride through space and time, but the journey was over in the shake of a tail and moments later the Dogstar burst through the exit portal in the Catnip Nebula.

  In a flurry of movement Poppy hit the brake jets, Butch cut the engines and Rocket shut down the ship’s computer, leaving only basic functions running as the Dogstar coasted silently through enemy territory. The Spacemutts then gathered at the cockpit and peered out into the Catnip Nebula. The vast red gas-cloud twinkled with distant stars as they passed through a minefield of small local planets.

  ‘I can hear the pulse,’ said Rocket, tilting his head and twitching his ears. The Captain then darted away and leapt on to the central hub, where he pulled down the periscope and scanned the skies until he located the source.

  ‘GRRRR!’ he growled, transferring the image to the giant screen.

  Butch and Poppy joined Rocket at the hub, and even Duke lifted his head as the image flickered into view. It showed the clockwork Mouseship tumbling through space with a shivering Baldy clinging to the top. The hairless servant was making a constant racket as his chilly paws grappled with the key.

  ‘That was the pulse?’ said Rocket. ‘Baldy banging on the ship?’

  ‘It’s too easy,’ said Poppy. ‘It has to be a trap!’

  ‘The Mouseship appears to be completely without power,’ said WOOF, scanning the systems of the clockwork craft. ‘Which is why I could not identify its electronic signature.’

  ‘A sitting duck!’ drooled Butch.

  said Rocket, wagging his tail excitedly. ‘And when she’s safely in our custody, planet Earth will finally be safe from the feline forces!’

  ‘But how will we get to her?’ asked Poppy.

  The Spacemutts thought hard. A Space Walkies to the Mouseship was the obvious choice, but with Lady Fluffkins waiting for them inside it was far too dangerous to attempt.

  ‘The Cheese Magnet!’ declared Butch.

  ‘Huh?’ said Rocket and Poppy together.

  Butch bounded to the back of the ship and returned wheeling a large crane with a fishing reel attached to the base. Dangling from the line at the other end was a holey metal wedge that looked like a lump of cheese. Butch swept the dust from the contraption and patted it proudly.

  said Rocket and Poppy again.

  ‘I invented the Cheese Magnet to fish for the Mouseship in outer space,’ Butch explained. ‘Unfortunately the line was too short for it to work long-distance, but we can use it to reel her in through the cargo doors!’

  ‘Bring the whole ship aboard the Dogstar?’ gasped Poppy.

  ‘Actually, it makes sense,’ said Rocket, pacing up and down. ‘Once Fluffkins is inside she won’t be able to escape. Then all we have to do is get her into the maximum-security cat basket!’

  Planet Puss

  The Cheese Magnet shot out through the Dogstar’s rear cargo doors and drifted towards the Mouseship, landing with a CLUNK! on its shiny black nose. Baldy quickly clung to the key as the clockwork craft was reeled in to the docking bay, and then held on even tighter when he peered down at three familiar Spacemutts and one giant dog.

  With the docking bay secured, Rocket approached the metal door of the Mouseship, put down the maximum-security cat basket and was joined by Poppy and Butch. The Captain then nodded to his crew and hit the external door-release with a paw.

  The Spacemutts were prepared to pounce as the door dropped down, but the ship was pitch black inside and nothing moved or made a sound. Rocket frowned at his crew and then slowly padded up the steps to board the enemy craft.

  Deep in the darkness, two green eyes flicked open.

  ‘YEEEEEAAAAAWWWW!’ screamed a white ball of fur as it shot from the Mouseship, paws briefly landing on Rocket’s head as a springboard to freedom.

  In a blur of movement, Lady Fluffkins raced along the curved walls of the Dogstar, darting back and forth as the Spacemutts chased after her. Duke was too big to join in so he hid inside the Mouseship, while Baldy watched everything from the safety of the clockwork key.

  The Persian shot around the Dogstar like a hissing ball of lightning, always a whisker away from the barking Spacemutts. Lady Fluffkins knew she was trapped and would be caught eventually, so her sharp eyes studied the Dogstar controls each time she whizzed past the cockpit.

  Once she’d gathered all the information she needed, the empress darted up the nose of the Mouseship, snatched Baldy from the key and threw him at the dogs. This gave her just enough time to put her plan into action. While Rocket, Poppy and Butch ducked to avoid the yowling servant, Lady Fluffkins back-flipped over their heads and landed in the pilot seat of the Dogstar.

  ‘NOOOOO!’ howled the Spacemutts as Fluffkins used all four of her snowy white paws to cut the autopilot, ignite the turbojets and plunge the steering levers down.

  The result was a rapid nosedive at incredible speed that threw the ship into zero gravity. The empress quickly dug her claws into the padded pilot seat and cackled wildly, glancing back with glee as the Spacemutts tumbled around the ship.

  While Poppy and Butch spun through the air, Rocket flipped himself upright and peered through the observation window.

  he barked when he saw that they were hurtling towards a small pink planet!

  The captain knew he couldn’t pull the Dogstar out of the nosedive before they crashed, but he could still capture Lady Fluffkins. The maximum-security cat basket was floating nearby, so he snatched it in his mouth and doggy-paddled with all his might towards the cockpit.

  The Dogstar burst through the atmosphere of the pink planet and plummeted through the clouds, its bolted panels creaking and groaning while the interior rattled angrily. Rocket could see the alien landscape rapidly approaching and made one final leap towards the empress.

  In the pilot seat, Lady Fluffkins was looking straight ahead and bracing herself for a bumpy landing – so she shrieked with alarm when a brown paw grabbed her fluffy tail, stuffed her into a wicker basket and slammed the bars across the front.

  Moments later the Dogstar hit the ground at high speed and bounded along the peculiar pink terrain, eventually landing in a battered heap at the base of a diamond mountain.

  Rocket awoke with a groan and opened his eyes to see the worried faces of Poppy and Butch peering down at him. Butch looked like he might dribble at any moment so the captain quickly leapt up and scanned the battered Dogstar.

  ‘How long was I unconscious?’ he gasped.

  ‘We don’t know,’ said Poppy. ‘The impact knocked us all out cold.’

  ‘The Mouseship is gone and Duke is missing,’ said Butch, nodding towards the open cargo doors and the tracks leading out into the strange p
ink landscape. ‘Fluffkins and Baldy must have kidnapped him while we were all snoozing.’

  Rocket frowned and began sniffing around the ship with his nose to the floor, following a scent to the transportation deck. There he nudged away fallen maps and charts and uncovered the maximum-security cat basket with Baldy cowering behind it.

  ‘Fluffkins can’t have done it,’ said the captain, as Poppy and Butch joined him and peered through the bars. The empress was snoring on her back with her paws in the air. ‘Which means someone else has taken the Mouseship and Duke along with it!’

  Suddenly the giant screen above the hub flickered on and the Spacemutts looked up to see a sleek pink cat sitting on a large diamond throne. Beside the throne sat an embarrassed Great Dane with a thick chain round his neck.